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Looking into my crystal ball

So Colin Powell is going to speak about Iraq today, to try to convince the world that Saddam Hussein is dangerous and needs to be removed. Predicted responses from the anti-war crowd, in no particular order:

  1. There's no smoking gun here.
  2. Let the inspections work!
  3. No blood for oil!
  4. So what? We should focus on the war on Islamic terror, not the war on Islamic dictators who support terror.
  5. Nous nous rendons en Irak!
  6. That doesn't prove anything. "Quick, hide the nuclear weapons! The inspectors are coming!" could mean just about anything.
  7. He's not really a threat anyway.
  8. Won't somebody please think of the children? War never solves anything.
  9. Hey, look, out of these 7,000 polls done in the last half year, here's one from months ago that said that Americans don't want to act unilaterally. See? Bush hasn't made his case. We can't go to war unless 110% of the population approves.
  10. If you can gather all this evidence, then Iraq doesn't pose a threat.
  11. It's all about Bush avenging his father, so the evidence doesn't count.
  12. I found a CIA employee -- okay, a janitor, but still -- who questions the Bush administration's interpretation of this evidence. So it doesn't prove anything.
  13. Okay, so what if he has weapons of mass destruction. So does , so isn't it hypocritical of us to demand that he give them up? And besides, the U.S. once used nuclear weapons. And besides, we knew he was using chemical weapons before, so we can't do anything about it now.
  14. But, wait, Jimmy Carter has a plan that will solve everything!
  15. The evidence is fabricated.
  16. But what about North Korea?
  17. Bush is stupid.

Unlikely response:

Gosh, you were right and we were wrong. We didn't really have the facts and didn't know what we were talking about. Sorry for doubting you. Obviously, you were right all along, and we should have listened. Invading Iraq is an important step in the war on terror. Chanting slogans isn't really an adequate substitute for learning how international affairs work. We'll never question your superior wisdom again.


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Comments (2)

Peter Monglian:

I like the title of this site. Very fitting to your style of thought. I just wanted to criticize you for listing the predictable responses of the anti-war crowd. It only shows weakness on the part of those of us who do support the war, because it shows we are stooping to the "us and them" mentality of pro-war vs. anti-war. This isn't a game, as much as the closed-minded drunkards would like to think it is. I like how you conclude your piece by imagining the evil anti-war protesters attmiting that you were, in the end, right. This shows to me your egotistical obsession with always being right. You remind us all of our collective father. Also, have you ever been to war? No you were one of those college boys who didn't have to go to Vietnam because he was studying philosophy at Berkely, but who says "fuck yeah, I'll go fight for the stars and stripes" War to you is an abstract thing that counties do. Little do you know actual people have to go fight and give their lives in them. So don't talk about war so loosley, boy. So I ask you to please avoid using grave international affairs as a playground for your own struggles with self-confidence. Have fun in denial and self-deception. -Peter

I like the way you predict the responces. Clear and convincing!


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